he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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