i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
