We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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