How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I love you.
Bad choice
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