I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
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Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
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Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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