He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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