So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
