just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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