I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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