the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
