yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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