He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
