he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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