I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
This is the high leading the old right now
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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