she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
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We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
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You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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