But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
