drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
