I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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