so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
and she was petting her beer can
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
