I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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