I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
