Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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