I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
My vagina is officially offended.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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