Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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