i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
