Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
