im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
