i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
My pussy is not your playground.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
