I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
