just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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