no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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