And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
