I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
