i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
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Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
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