I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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