i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
