you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
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