The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
