bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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