I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
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If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
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Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Help me help you realize you are a moron
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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