did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
