Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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