Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize