make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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