yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
