Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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