Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I'm bleeding and have questions
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
