I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize