im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I just blew my weed a kiss
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
