It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
