Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
