its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
