Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize