I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
