This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
