We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
